Through my entire marriage, I chose not to find & invest in good friends.

Sure, I had friends at work. There were old acquaintances from high school, college and other areas of my life. And we had couple friends that we’d go out with. But all were very surface level. I didn’t know them, and they certainly didn’t know me.

I’m not exactly sure why I chose that path. I’ve always been a private person and very much an introvert. Friday afternoon happy hours and golf outings on Saturday’s just weren’t my thing. I chose to spend my time with my wife, my kids and extended family.

Looking back, not having better balance was one of my bigger regrets. Outside of my immediate family, when I went through my divorce I had no one to lean on! It was a painful part of my life and man, I sure wish I had someone who was a sounding board or was checking in and looking after me. But what was I to expect? I chose not to invest in people – how could I expect anyone to invest in return?

Today, I have an entirely new perspective on friendships – and that includes both male friendships and female ones as well. I’ve discovered that I really do enjoy investing in people! It’s been so rewarding.

I get so much satisfaction investing in new friends – whether picking up one at the airport, offering advice from what wisdom I’ve gained or having a couple of drinks and laughing about all of the drama that’s unfolded that week.

And the best thing about a good friend circle? Focusing on friendships takes your eye off the ball of that over consuming activity we all put way too much time into (with usually little to no reward) – DATING! ?

I believe this to be true: Outside of family, a good friend circle can often be BEST investment you can make in yourself.

About Daniel Herrold

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Daniel Herrold is a Divorced Dad of 3 daughters living in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He is one of the Co-Founders of Divorced Over Forty, a recently formed group that provides community to divorced men & women across the world who are in the 40’s, 50’s & 60’s. The DO40 community has enabled Daniel to pursue his passion for writing, where he writes on a number of topics including his own personal divorce journey, dating, and being a dad to three daughters.

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